This last year has been one of the hardest, and yet one of the most amazing, since I placed my faith in Christ. As I set up this new blog recently, I reread all of the blog posts on my previous blog, in order to include them as memorial stones of what God has done in my life. There were some, that as I read them I thought, ‘that was one of the most difficult times of my faith journey’ and thought about how in many ways this past year has been just as difficult. But I also know that those times were instrumental in my relationship with Christ. Others made me think, ‘Oh girl, if you only knew that difficulty was nothing compared to what was ahead’. But that is the grace of God. He lovingly allows just enough in order to teach us what we need to learn, and strengthens our faith in Him by various levels of difficulties according to what is necessary to bring us closer to Him and for His glory.
“Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”
Luke 22:31-32
It would be naïve to compare my situation to Peter’s in this passage. I cannot imagine what that night must have been like for him. What would I do in the same situation of fearing for my life? I hope that having Peter’s story as an example, as well as the many other Christians that have been martyred around the world since then, that I would remain strong and proclaim Jesus.
According to the Meriam-Webster Dictionary, sift is defined as to separate or to go through especially to sort out what is useful or valuable. Sifting wheat first includes threshing, which is separating the edible grain from the chaff. Interestingly, Meriam-Webster Dictionary defines chaff as the seed coverings and other debris separated from the seed in threshing grain or something comparatively worthless. Satan was demanding to have Peter and to have him all alone. Obviously, Satan’s intent was not just for Peter to fail during this trial, but for Peter‘s faith to fail. God already knew that Peter was going to fail during this trial- that he was going to deny Jesus that night- but Jesus tells Peter that He has prayed for him that his faith may not fail. Peter’s faith, and therefore his relationship with God, was far more important than that one trial. God knew He would be glorified even in Peter’s failure that night. We know how Peter’s faith, in fact, did not fail and he went on to proclaim Christ and was instrumental in the early church.
This passage of scripture has been encouraging to me recently, as it is such a picture of what this last year has felt like in retrospect. It has been such a year of incredible highs and devastating lows. Ministry was a mountain-top experience this year, as we saw God do amazing things through the pregnancy center. But there were devastating blows in my personal walk, things that I very incorrectly thought would never happen.
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”
1 Corinthians 10:12
If you think there is an area of your life that the enemy cannot get to, that is pride and idolatry, and likely is exactly where he will aim and God will likely allow in order to tear down idols. This is exactly what happened in my life over this last year. God allowed the enemy to separate in order to sort out what is useful or valuable, and therefore discard that which is worthless. My pride and idols are worthless, and they needed to go. I needed to lay down things that are good and focus on what is best. There are things in our lives that are in fact good things, but when they become so elevated in our lives that we lose focus on what is best- Jesus- then they have become an idol.
If you think there is an area of your life that the enemy cannot get to, that is pride and idolatry, and likely is exactly where he will aim and God will likely allow in order to tear down idols.
I would say that I failed this trial, as I can now see so many ways that I could have been stronger and more faithful. But my faith has not failed because of Christ. The enemy may have gotten the better of me in this battle, but he has lost the war. He lost the war when Jesus took on the sin of the world and died on that cross to defeat death three days later when He was raised from the dead. And until Jesus returns to rule the earth, the enemy is on a short leash and trying to destroy as much as possible.
“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”
1 Peter 5:8
But there is a part of Luke 22:31-32 that I had never focused on before: “And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” This has been such an encouragement to me lately. Jesus foretold Peter that he was going to fail and deny Jesus three times that night; but He instructs him, that when he turns back to Jesus again, to then strengthen his brothers. We may fail during the trial, but that does not disqualify us from strengthening others after we have repented and turned our focus back to Jesus. That’s what we are called to do, and anything less is allowing the enemy more control over our lives than he has in reality. Get on your knees and repent. Pour out your broken heart and lay it all at Jesus’ feet. Then take His hand and He will help you to get back on your feet. Turn around to the direction we are called to go. Get back on the path. And walk confidently in Jesus. Along the way, take the time to strengthen and pour into others. Speak life. Share truth. Foster hope.